On strike against stress!

I’m not sure why I’m stressing myself out so much over this stupid exam. I’ve been thinking about it, and it’s not like I need it – not the way an Investment Advisor needs it to be able to trade stocks and such. I’m only doing it to better understand the shit I have to edit; shit that I don’t even care about.

So, I’ve decided that if I fail (when I fail – I’ve come to terms with it, now you must as well), I won’t have to stress for the rest of the month about the second exam at the end of February, and I can wait to take the exams when I have a full-time job that will hopefully pay for me to take the course again. I’ll still have the books and can take my time reading them, and have the knowledge at least, whether I have the certification or not, right?

I mean, in the grand scheme of things, is it really worth pushing myself into emotional turmoil just to pass an exam that won’t actually further my career in any way?  I’m sure it will be much easier in a year or so, when I’m not under such pressure. I’m not advocating giving up (as much as it seems I am) – I’m simply saying that my mental health sometimes needs to take a front seat. Hey, I managed to get through four years of university without failing a class, so it’s not like I fail or give up all the time. (Stop judging me, I can feel you!)

Anyway, whether you judge me or not, I’ve decided not to stress about it anymore. I was planning on barricading myself in my apartment and not coming out until I’d read X chapters. But I’m celebrating my birthday on Saturday night (and yes, I will be drinking, but it’s a special occasion, I think I deserve to relax a little, and I’m going to be careful about it), and I don’t want to be worried about being too hung over on Sunday to study.

I also don’t want to be so stressed that I don’t sleep this weekend, like I haven’t been the past few nights. I’m still going to stay in tomorrow night to study, like a good girl. That’s enough for me.
If I pass (miracles do happen – look, the Leafs won the other night!), then I’ll have three weeks to study for the second one.

***

Okay, with that stress removed, I feel so much better. It’s 4 pm and I’m dying in anticipation of my interview being posted on my friend’s friend’s blog. It was a really emotional interview, even though I held it together really well (look ma, no tears!).

In fact, I’ve been checking it obsessively all day. Well, also because there hasn’t been much to do at work today and studying is getting boring and tiring.

Anyway, it’s not up yet, and I don’t want to explain it until I can link to it, so you’ll have to grab your hair in frustration for perhaps one more day.

 Unless… *clicks Refresh on her browser* … nope, not up yet. Sorry.

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