I’ve been dreading writing this post. Usually when I’m away from the blog for a long time, it’s because things are either really bad or relatively normal. In this case, being away since September, it’s the latter, thank goodness. Since starting the new job, and getting back into a proper sleep pattern without sleeping pills, […]

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March 31st, 2014 by "Alice"

Coffee and more forgetting

Last night I reached a new low… in terms of my “sleepwalking,” that is. I saw Dr. A. yesterday (and Naomi — more on that later), and he gave me Seroquel and Immovane to sleep. Immovane for the nights I really needed it. Well, after having a lovely dinner with a few close friends, I […]

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September 10th, 2010 by "Alice"

Looking for — relative — peace

“It’s not hypomania, it’s your anti-psychotic.” There’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear come from Dr. A’s lips, but it was one I heard at our appointment today. So the anti-psychotic, which by definition is meant to curb hypomania, is causing all the agitation I’ve been feeling lately. The not being able to sit […]

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July 8th, 2010 by "Alice"

I’m so happy, cause today I found my friends…

The past couple of weeks have been a bit of a blur, so please excuse my absence from the blog. After the  suicidal thoughts overwhelmed my mind, I took some time off work. On my last day, the Friday after it all happened, I was bouncing along in the office, not fully aware of my […]

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June 16th, 2010 by "Alice"

Queen of the Zopiclone Zombies

It’s almost 6 pm on Friday. I took two more Zopiclone (10 mg) last night after my last post and put on Finding Nemo, hoping to fall asleep on the couch to a movie that wouldn’t require me paying much attention. The last thing I remember  is the part where Nemo goes to the dropoff […]

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May 21st, 2010 by "Alice"

I should still be sleeping!

*Warning*  This post is very self-pitying. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. It’s been about  22 hours since my last post. I managed to catch a one-hour power  nap exactly an hour before I had to start work. Other than that I didn’t sleep at all, although I did manage to make the day productive. […]

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May 21st, 2010 by "Alice"

I should be sleeping…

…but instead I’m sitting out on my balcony having a cigarette and writing this at 4:30 in the morning. So much for the much beloved sleeping pills. I took my regular dose (which has been upped from 7.5 mg to 10 mg) and… nothing. A few yawns, but nothing like the immediate feeling of sleep […]

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May 20th, 2010 by "Alice"

One pill, two pill, three pill, four

I’ve officially become an old lady…. Today I bought one of those pill containers, you know, the ones that have the days of the week and you can store all your pills for each day. Except that now I’m on so many pills that I actually had to buy on that has a separate day […]

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April 15th, 2010 by "Alice"

Searching for the light switch

“If the docs keep waving their arms around at random, eventually they flick on the light switch by mistake.” This is a line from a book I just finished reading — Generosity: An Enhancement, by Richard Powers. It’s about a woman who comes from a war-torn country to study in a slightly futuristic version of […]

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April 14th, 2010 by "Alice"

Up next: Another change in meds

Well, it’s been a few days since I’ve posted anything, mostly because I haven’t really had anything to say, but also because I haven’t had the energy. I’ve been sleeping so much the past few days; it’s all I can do to pull myself out of bed to log in for work. I’m not sure […]

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February 23rd, 2010 by "Alice"