I’ve been dreading writing this post. Usually when I’m away from the blog for a long time, it’s because things are either really bad or relatively normal. In this case, being away since September, it’s the latter, thank goodness. Since starting the new job, and getting back into a proper sleep pattern without sleeping pills, […]

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March 31st, 2014 by "Alice"

Back down the rabbit hole…

And here we are again. Once again my world is crashing down around me and I am powerless to stop it. A month ago, the guy I was seeing abruptly told me he just wanted to be friends, while he “figures things out” with his life. Fine. I thought we could actually be friends, but […]

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July 31st, 2011 by "Alice"

A boring update

Once again, I’ve left it too long since I’ve written here. Again, mostly because nothing much has been going on. In terms of mental health, that is. In the rest of my life, I’m close to landing a great new job and I’ve started seeing a great new guy. But this isn’t the place for […]

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April 25th, 2011 by "Alice"

Depression, avoidance and hallucinations — oh my!

I just came in from a cigarette and laid down on the floor of my apartment for almost an hour. Sasha very kindly kept me company, although I think she was just hoping for more belly rubs. She got them. I’m not entirely sure why I laid on the floor; I’ve never done that before. […]

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March 21st, 2011 by "Alice"

Venting — because I never do that

I just need to vent a little. Since I left AIM, things have slowly been going downhill. The past week was full of outings with friends and meetings with AIM friends. However, these outings and meetings all managed to turn into ways for me to get drunk. Sometimes I did things I wasn’t proud of […]

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March 8th, 2011 by "Alice"


If you Google “stigma,” the first four or so results are definitions and explanations of what a “stigma” is. They mostly say that a stigma is a mark or stain that is a permanent part of a person’s appearance or character, setting that person apart from society or “normal.” After that, results refer to the […]

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March 7th, 2011 by "Alice"

Spirituality and bipolar

I went to church on Sunday. For me, church has always been a love it or hate it thing. I was forced to go every Sunday while I was growing up — which sometimes meant leaving the sleepover early or missing the beginning of the get together. I found church boring and pointless. I didn’t […]

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February 21st, 2011 by "Alice"

Week 2 ends and Week 3 begins

Well, a lot happened last week, which is why I didn’t have time to update this or call anyone. I went from almost manic on Monday to hopelessly depressed on Friday. After a relaxing weekend at my parents’, without my phone, which I left at CAMH by accident, I came back refreshed and feeling pretty […]

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January 31st, 2011 by "Alice"

AIM program at CAMH

So a lot has happened since I last wrote.  After making the decision to go into the in-patient program (called AIM), it was a lot of hurry up and wait. Barbara told me that I have to go in for four weeks while Dr. A told me it was more flexible. I finally got a […]

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January 15th, 2011 by "Alice"

Next steps are the big ones

Well, the past week has been pretty good. I know I managed to push myself into a high, and I’m just glad it’s lasted this long. I spent Friday through Saturday with my friend and her daughter, Saturday night with some friends and Sunday with my parents. And tonight I had a great dinner with […]

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December 22nd, 2010 by "Alice"