I should still be sleeping!

*Warning*  This post is very self-pitying. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. It’s been about  22 hours since my last post. I managed to catch a one-hour power  nap exactly an hour before I had to start work. Other than that I didn’t sleep at all, although I did manage to make the day productive. […]

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May 21st, 2010 by "Alice"

I should be sleeping…

…but instead I’m sitting out on my balcony having a cigarette and writing this at 4:30 in the morning. So much for the much beloved sleeping pills. I took my regular dose (which has been upped from 7.5 mg to 10 mg) and… nothing. A few yawns, but nothing like the immediate feeling of sleep […]

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May 20th, 2010 by "Alice"

A post from behind the mask

I didn’t realize how long it had been since I’d updated the blog until a friend told me on Friday that it’s been almost three weeks and she was tired of seeing “One pill, two pill, three pill, four” every time she checks to see if I’ve updated it. The thing is, the past few […]

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May 9th, 2010 by "Alice"

One pill, two pill, three pill, four

I’ve officially become an old lady…. Today I bought one of those pill containers, you know, the ones that have the days of the week and you can store all your pills for each day. Except that now I’m on so many pills that I actually had to buy on that has a separate day […]

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April 15th, 2010 by "Alice"

Searching for the light switch

“If the docs keep waving their arms around at random, eventually they flick on the light switch by mistake.” This is a line from a book I just finished reading — Generosity: An Enhancement, by Richard Powers. It’s about a woman who comes from a war-torn country to study in a slightly futuristic version of […]

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April 14th, 2010 by "Alice"

Floundering in a low, wishing for a high

I’m not sure what this post is going to be about; I feel like I have so much to get off my chest, but I can’t think of anything right now. I figured if I start typing, something might come out. So I’ll apologize in advance if this is all over the place. I saw […]

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March 19th, 2010 by "Alice"

Up next: Another change in meds

Well, it’s been a few days since I’ve posted anything, mostly because I haven’t really had anything to say, but also because I haven’t had the energy. I’ve been sleeping so much the past few days; it’s all I can do to pull myself out of bed to log in for work. I’m not sure […]

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February 23rd, 2010 by "Alice"

Hibernating — and not from the winter weather

So things are still on the downward slope. I’ve been hiding out, hibernating in my apartment, which has been helped by the fact that I’ve been working the evening shift for the past couple of days, at home — which means I haven’t changed out of my pajamas in a couple of days. Until today, […]

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February 18th, 2010 by "Alice"

So tired of all of it…

It’s been a rough few days. Birthday week didn’t end the way I was hoping it would. In addition to getting way too drunk on Friday and the inevitable Saturday hangover/depression, my iPhone was stolen when I was at the bar. Ah crap. Not only can I not afford to replace it (which is actually […]

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February 15th, 2010 by "Alice"

Hypomania — friend or foe?

When people hear about someone being manic-depressive, the first thought seems to be towards the mania end of the spectrum. The depression is easier to understand – we’ve all been there in some form, right? You can make a reasonable guess as to how manic-depressives behave when they’re depressed. People have a more difficult time […]

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January 28th, 2010 by "Alice"