AIM program at CAMH

So a lot has happened since I last wrote.  After making the decision to go into the in-patient program (called AIM), it was a lot of hurry up and wait. Barbara told me that I have to go in for four weeks while Dr. A told me it was more flexible. I finally got a […]

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January 15th, 2011 by "Alice"


Two posts in one day. Must mean something, but what? Hmmm… I haven’t slept in a day and a half so this feels like a different day than when I wrote this morning? Maybe. Or it could be that I’m lonely and I want to talk but I can’t bring myself to call anyone and […]

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November 27th, 2010 by "Alice"

Warning: Contains inordinate amounts of self-pity

I can’t decide if I’ve been down this past week, or if this is my “normal” mood. I’ve been thrown off by working evenings, so my schedule has made a 180 degree turn. I don’t get to bed until between 1 and 3 in the morning, and then I’m sleeping until noon or 1-2 pm. […]

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October 29th, 2010 by "Alice"

Bipolar people don’t like me

That was one of the Google keywords that led someone to this blog. Interesting, n’est pas? When I read that, I was trying to think of a way to relate it to a post here, but I can’t, so let’s move on. Today’s my birthday — yay! After yesterday’s low, I was hoping I would […]

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February 10th, 2010 by "Alice"

I am mentally ill. And I’m dealing with it.

There are many people out there who truly believe that depression and bipolar (and schizophrenia, etc.) are not real illnesses but rather are caused by a “weakness” in the person, or by external situations or events or people or lifestyles. I never thought about it before I was diagnosed. It was always called a “mental […]

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January 26th, 2010 by "Alice"

Coming to terms with things… slowly

It’s been a while since I was officially diagnosed. Even longer since I first started showing symptoms. But I’m really only just coming to terms with the fact that this is a disorder that I’ll have for the rest of my life. Even if I do manage to stabilize, odds are I will never come […]

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January 23rd, 2010 by "Alice"