So a lot has happened since I last wrote.  After making the decision to go into the in-patient program (called AIM), it was a lot of hurry up and wait. Barbara told me that I have to go in for four weeks while Dr. A told me it was more flexible. I finally got a [...]

Two posts in one day. Must mean something, but what? Hmmm… I haven’t slept in a day and a half so this feels like a different day than when I wrote this morning? Maybe. Or it could be that I’m lonely and I want to talk but I can’t bring myself to call anyone and [...]

I can’t decide if I’ve been down this past week, or if this is my “normal” mood. I’ve been thrown off by working evenings, so my schedule has made a 180 degree turn. I don’t get to bed until between 1 and 3 in the morning, and then I’m sleeping until noon or 1-2 pm. [...]

That was one of the Google keywords that led someone to this blog. Interesting, n’est pas? When I read that, I was trying to think of a way to relate it to a post here, but I can’t, so let’s move on. Today’s my birthday — yay! After yesterday’s low, I was hoping I would [...]

Last night I went to bed with the firm belief that today would be a better day. I was determined to make it so. I had a meeting with my freelancers’ group in the afternoon and a date with Mr. Second Friday (we’ll continue to call him Mike). I got up around 10, and the [...]

There are many people out there who truly believe that depression and bipolar (and schizophrenia, etc.) are not real illnesses but rather are caused by a “weakness” in the person, or by external situations or events or people or lifestyles. I never thought about it before I was diagnosed. It was always called a “mental [...]

For the second time in two weeks my illness has affected my work. The last time I let this happen was in fourth year of university when I slept through a final exam. Luckily I had a friend who helped me get out of that one – not only that, he helped me get all [...]

It’s been a while since I was officially diagnosed. Even longer since I first started showing symptoms. But I’m really only just coming to terms with the fact that this is a disorder that I’ll have for the rest of my life. Even if I do manage to stabilize, odds are I will never come [...]

I slept through work the other day. Woke up at noon, when my phone alarm went off to remind me to take my Effexor. I was supposed to be at work at 9. I had set my alarm to go off twice, which I always do, just in case. I didn’t even hear them. I [...]